Excel Saga - 1999

A organização ideológica secreta Across tem um único objetivo em mente: a dominação mundial. Para isso, o líder do Across, Lord Ilpallazzo, envia sua agente excessivamente entusiástica (embora um tanto incompetente) Excel Excel para dar início ao plano, começando com a tomada de F City, na Prefeitura F. A primeira missão de Excel é livrar o mundo dos males dos artistas de mangá e animadores, começando com o criador da série, Koshi Rikdo. Será que Excel conseguirá completar sua missão e ainda segurar um emprego de meio período sem ser morta ou causar caos por onde passa? Parece duvidoso…

Across tem um novo rival em sua busca pela dominação mundial — uma força de invasão Puchuu do planeta Marte. Enquanto a cidade sofre com uma torrencial chuva, apenas uma mulher permanece energética e tola o suficiente para enfrentar o clima e salvar o mundo da invasão marciana — Excel Excel. Armando-se com seu estoque de comida de emergência, Menchi, Excel pode ser a única capaz de resistir à maior arma dos Puchuu — sua irresistível fofura…

Após ser capturada por guerrilheiros depois de acabar acidentalmente em uma zona de guerra, Excel se encontra presa na pior tortura de todas — fazendo parte de um filme B de ação! Enquanto isso, Ilpallazzo envia a nova agente da Across, Hyatt, para procurar a Excel desaparecida, mas considerando sua tendência a desmaiar a cada poucos minutos, a busca pode demorar mais do que o esperado…

Quando Ilpallazzo decide se divertir com um jogo de namoro portátil, ele não percebe que suas escolhas no jogo estão afetando as tentativas reais de Watanabe de passar um tempo com sua bela (se um pouco doente) nova vizinha Hyatt! Mas à medida que o jogo vai ficando cada vez mais difícil e louco, será que Ilpallazzo e Watanabe conseguirão alcançar um "placar" vencedor, ou tudo terminará em um catastrófico "game over"?

Para descobrir o quão corruptos são os oficiais da Cidade F, Excel e Hyatt são enviadas para se infiltrar na Prefeitura, onde logo se encontram envolvidas em um mar de enganações, trapaças e acontecimentos completamente loucos! Mas, com a ajuda de algumas dicas no estilo Resident Evil, rabiscadas na parede do banheiro, a dupla pode até conseguir desvendar os eventos que estão acontecendo na Prefeitura, sem falar em adicionar seu próprio toque de caos à situação...

Quando Ilpalazzo envia Excel e Hyatt em uma missão para reunir mais recursos para Across, a dupla se encontra viajando para as montanhas. No entanto, seja garimpando ouro ou caçando carne, encontrar recursos no meio de um cenário de drama de sobrevivência promete ser uma tarefa longe de ser fácil para nossas intrépidas heroínas! E em outro lugar, Watanabe, Iwata e Sumiyoshi enfrentam seus próprios desafios enquanto participam de um estranho seminário de treinamento e se encontram com uma nova colega — a bela e perigosa Misaki Matsuya.

Quando Kabapu envia Watanabe e seus colegas para investigar os esgotos ao redor da base da Across, Ilpalazzo envia Excel e Hyatt para lidar com os intrusos. No entanto, mesmo enquanto a dupla se familiariza com o sistema de segurança da Across, elas descobrem um tipo de intruso muito mais sinistro espreitando nos esgotos — um exército de Puchuus liderado pela nefasta Rainha Puchuu! Será que Excel e os outros conseguirão enfrentar essa força irresistivelmente fofa do mal?

It’s an all-girl fan service fest as Excel and Hyatt take off to the swimming pool, accompanied by local girl Cosette. But even as they laze in the sun and enjoy all the clichés of a summer episode, it appears that Cosette may have a deadlier mission in mind than simply taking a quick dip in the pool. Could such a cute little girl really be a sinister assassin? On a show like this, anything seems likely…

When Ilpalazzo orders Excel and Hyatt to learn how to control the masses through their most popular sports, the duo end up working in the rather less than mainstream field of ten pin bowling! However, what looks to be nothing more than a quiet part time job in a bowling alley soon becomes far more dangerous when the alley is taken over by an evil terrorist group of middle-aged bowling fanatics! Now only woman stands in the way of these miscreants—the over-energetic yet under-competent Excel Excel…

When the stress of life as an emergency food supply becomes too much for Menchi, she takes the first opportunity she can to escape from Excel’s apartment and go in search of her former owner, a kindly old man. Life on the streets soon proves quite tough for the little dog, however, but fortunately help is at hand when she meets up with a disparate gang of dogs all conforming to well-known movie stereotypes. With her new friends by her side, Menchi continues her quest for the old man, but in typical fashion, danger and betrayal are lurking around every corner…

Thanks to the state of modern education, the future is looking bleak—and that means that Across must take action. To that end, Ilpalazzo sends Excel and Hyatt to work at Excel’s old high school, which has since become a dumping ground for all manner of juvenile delinquents. But no sooner have they tamed the students than a new challenge arises—whipping the school’s woefully poor baseball team back into shape. But even with all the clichés of sports anime on their side, will Excel and Hyatt be able to create a team good enough to win their crucial match against the Monkey Balls High team?

Having decided that his employees need some additional training, Kabapu sends Watanabe and the others to train under Purin, a detective who can turn from a tough-as-nails old-timer into a cute girl quite literally at the drop of a hat! And whilst they tag along for Purin’s latest case, Excel has some problem solving of her own to do when Hyatt is taken hostage by a pair of burglars.

It had to happen eventually. The producers got behind schedule—there’s way no way enough material for a whole new show could be produced in time. So what plan than to polish off some old clips, do some fancy editing, and make up a review episode? Yes, it’s Excel Saga’s turn for a clip show, framed by a seasonal New Year-Year’s End Hidden Talent Content, as presented by Excel and Hyatt.

In order to pick up flagging ratings, the Excel Saga writers introduce a new character: the android lady Ropponmatsu, creation of Dr. Shioji, a brilliant scientist with a mostly-innocent (thank goodness) fixation with small girls. Iwata, of course, becomes hopelessly enamored with Ropponmatsu, completely clueless to the fact that she’s not a living, breathing human. Meanwhile, Excel and Hyatt manage to bungle a seemingly simple mission to deliver a package with a bomb in it, one discovered and disarmed by Ropponmatsu… well, not quite, much to Iwata’s horror.

Annoyed that Ropponmatsu has bought it after only one episode, the merchandising team demands that she be put back in the show immediately. In the meantime, Iwata tries to put up with Ropponmatsu 2, an annoyingly cute little-girl version of the original Ropponmatsu, and Excel and Hyatt try their last mission over again, this time with a robot of their own!

After getting demolished again in the last episode, new copies of Ropponmatsu 1 and 2 are delivered to Watanabe’s apartment. But by mistake, Excel and Hyatt accidentally activate the new models, which immediately become fixated with them, in more ways than one! But will this double dose of shoujo-ai end in tragedy… or just dark comedy?

On a mission to investigate the situation in America, Excel and Hyatt run into a band of street thugs… and a communication problem. Fortunately, they get some help from Sandora, the son of Excel’s late friend Pedro, who is working as a cel animator to support his mother. But it seems these cels are being hoarded by an evil gangster, who quickly gets a hard lesson in the rules of cartoon heroics by an outraged Excel.

Desperate for more material, the writers of "Excel Saga" take a page or two from Koshi Rikdou’s old "masked heroes" parody Daitenjin, and have our hapless heroes in the Safety Assurance Agency (Watanabe, Iwata, Sumiyoshi, Matsuya, and both Ropponmatsus) made into the Municipal Force Daitenjin, against their will no less. In order to get out of the rather uncomfortable jumpsuits, the team goes about finding and dealing with all the terrible crimes (or not-so-terrible ones) they can find.

Menchi makes another break while Excel and Hyatt are out of town on a mission, and ends up on a boat to America. There, she meets Ann Anzai, a young lady who must travel the world in 80 hours before she can collect her inheritance from her grandfather, and accompanies the girl on her adventure. Can the two of them make it in time, and can Menchi defend her new friend from a mysterious assassin out to get both of them?

Having charted the misadventures of Pedro, as he struggled for a season and a half to return home to his son and his sexy wife, the writers of Excel Saga have Excel and Hyatt sitting around in a bar and recapping Pedro’s escapades. Yep, it’s another clip show… but with a twist, as new footage is revealed showing the return of Nabeshin, and the kidnapping of the Great Will of the Macrocosm and Pedro’s wife by the evil That Man!

Fed up with Ilpalazzo’s lack of progress, ACROSS HQ sends the leather-clad, ruggedly handsome, and more-bishonen-than-thou agent Key to deliver an important message to Ilpalazzo. But rock-star wanabee Key, being the "artise" that he is, won’t deliver his little singing telegram until his muse returns. In the meantime, an envious Ilpalazzo sends the lovestruck Excel and the blasé-as-usual Hyatt to keep an eye on Key. That’s easier said than done, though, as Key hooks up with a down-on-their-luck "visual-type" band and turns them into superstars, even scoring them a big gig, where he plans to reveal his big message on national television…

Having finally gotten the hint from ACROSS that he should hurry up the whole invasion thing, Ilpalazzo orders Hyatt to perform final preparations for the conquest of the city of "F", and orders the bungling Excel to keep her nose out of it. Excel has no time to be dejected, though: the Puchuus have returned, and she and Hyatt must help a band of freedom fighters thwart the machinations of an evil conqueror and his really big spaceship! But even after our favorite ACROSS agents defeat the invaders and destroy their ship, the city of "F" gets squashed by the falling debris. Well, them’s the breaks…

We find Excel wandering the wasteland that once was "F" City, where she becomes entangled in a conflict between a settlement of survivors and a band of maraudering raiders. After fending off the thugs with her "ACROSS Martial Arts" (which involves beating the opponent in the right places ’til they turn into a Digi Charat character), Excel finally finds her beloved Ilpalazzo… only for him to strike her down callously. Without the Great Will to ressurect her, can the mortally wounded Excel survive? (She’d better, the series isn’t over yet!)

After Koshi Rikdo declares this episode to be gag-free, an amnesiac Excel gives the performance of her life after being rescued by the surviving members of the Safety Assurance Agency (i.e. all of them). But as she copes with her betrayal and tries to recover her identity, Ilpalazzo is having an identity crisis of his own, as his drive to conquer pushes him further forward. Angst and pointless plot twists abound as Excel searches for ACROSS… and Ilpalazzo struggles with his ambition.

Fed up with the insanity, Koshi Rikdo finally insists that the animation and writing crew finish the freaking series already. So, the Safety Assurance Agency locks horns with ACROSS, Excel tracks down Ilpalazzo and beats some sense into him, Watanabe finally realizes the truth about Hyatt, and the series finally comes to an end… or does it?

In this aptly-named epilogue, an aborted attempt at making a musical version of Excel Saga is replaced by an exercise in pushing the boundaries of good taste for even Japanese television. As a small sampling of the insanity, Excel and Hyatt (the former more deranged than usual, the latter more sickly than usual) switch bodies, Cosette returns only to get naughty with Dr. Shioji, Watanabe takes Hyatt (in Excel’s body) to a love hotel, Nabeshin gets married, and there’s way too much blood and pointless violence. What better way to end a "Quack Experimental Anime"?